When I got into my car today, Killing Joke's "Love Like Blood" was playing on my CD player - it seemed, musically speaking more than lyrically, to reflect my current mood. Only Blur's "This Is A Low" would have been more appropriate.
I have had my first ever pupillage interview. As it currently stands, I won't be having a second. Not with this set of chambers, in any case. I feel dejected, rejected and totally disheartened. I rue not filling in the special request form and re-sitting Opinion Writing, Drafting and my Family assessments. I wish I'd never gone to that 6th form college, and taken those A levels. Yes, I have life experience, and I have work experience. It doesn't paper over my academic failings.
I have asked for feedback, and hope to receive something constructive back. Anyone who knows me, will know that I will have analysed the interview, and pulled it, and myself, to pieces. If the pupillage committee can give me any positive feedback, I'll be clinging onto it for all that it's worth.
My malaise is having an affect on my pre-holiday excitement; in that I am not excited. I pity the poor husband who is away on business, and doesn't get the benefit. I may snap out of this mood, and be my usual hyperactive self by the time he gets back. We've got a fair bit planned, including whale watching and a game at Fenway Park. In between, we plan to see the Grand Canyon and the Hoover dam. Not to mention shopping.... The dollar has been weakening against sterling, what are the chances of a crash by this weekend?
On top of this, I will be called to the Bar this week. At least I'll be able to call myself a barrister, even if I won't be working as one. Yet.
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